dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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