id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
