Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
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