I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
