I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Randomize
