I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
