Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
She even gives head with a lisp.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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