Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
