Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
