Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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