What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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