i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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