You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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