Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
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being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
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I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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