i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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