i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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