i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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