Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
