No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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