the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
