Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
