so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
