Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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