Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
