You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Congratulations! We have a period
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
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