i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Duck Duck Cougar?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
Randomize
