oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Someone signed my nipple.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
