i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
