my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
