There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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