Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
