were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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