And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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