I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
