I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
did i walk over a car last night?
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
