I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
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