i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
