Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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