in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
