omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
