actually, I'm a sock model
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Randomize
