loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
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