Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
