i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
being pregnant is like rehab
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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