I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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