I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
My boob is missing a layer of skin
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
