look no pants
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
