Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
