I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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