Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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