I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Randomize
