Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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