if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
