i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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