Dual....:-)
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
