We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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