i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
