I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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